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Julian sat in his driveway reluctant to leave the car. Lights blazed welcome from the windows, pushing back the night. Maybe he should just go to an impersonal hotel.
Unable to decide which was more cowardly, habit kicked him off the fence and into the house.
“Julian, give me kisses.” His lover, Joseph, demanded while stirring a pot. The kitchen smells sent Julian’s abused empty stomach growling. Salad, steak, a cream sauce for peas, every surface seemed to be covered with food. The quick peck Julian offered wasn’t enough to meet Joe’s requirements. The refrigerator rocked when Joe pressed his swimmer-defined rock-hard body against Julian’s smaller build. Deep kisses woke parts of Julian he rather remain dead.
Needing comfort against the anguish Julian lost himself in the kisses. His cock tightened and pressed against Joseph’s. He pulled the taller man against him, forgetting for a moment.
“Much better.” Barefoot silent on the tile, Joseph returned to the stove. “Missed you.”
“I always miss you.” Julian responded. Freed from his lover’s embrace he opened the refrigerator to keep from staring at the blond. Sculptured from years of swimming and sports, Joseph was the most beautiful man Julian had ever known. The five years they had lived together were the happiest in his life. But that time had ended, Julian needed to end it. And he couldn’t.
“Don’t go ruining your dinner.” Joe barked.
The fridge was empty except for some expired milk. “Not really a problem.” Julian muttered under his breath before closing the door on the escaping cold. “I’ll go change.”
***
Joe controlled the dinner conversation while Julian pushed food around his plate amazed at the heft and scent, the realness when nothing in his life felt real anymore. Having participated in the discussion about the community pool opening for the summer over a hundred times in the past three months, he was able to answer Joseph without thinking. Until he broke.
“I can’t do this.” Julian staggered from his chair and ran toward the bedroom.
Their shared bedroom. Still disheveled from last night
Joe caught his arm as he entered. “What’s wrong? You’ve been quiet all night.”
“So glad you noticed.” Tears pouring from agony-filled eyes prevented Julian from focusing on Joe’s all-American face.
“Hon, what is wrong?”
“You’re dead. Dead!” Julian accused his lover. “Died saving some girl the day the pool opened. Why do you keep coming back?”
(words 402; first published 10/30/2013; republished new blog format 10/7/2018)