Meme from the Interwebs, basically public domain because of wide-spread distribution
With the present rapid changes, and even before, I often sent forward memes that crossed my path on Facebook for others to either enjoy or learn from. Recently, a few people have (RIGHTLY) called me out for not fact-checking things I was sharing. Two deeper dives have ended with me deleting the post; in another case, I didn’t have the energy to do the research – I think it was correct, but gut feeling is not enough – and so just deleted it.
For the Meme above, written by Qasim Rashid, I merrily forwarded it and then went, wait, I need to fact check it.
- I found out who Qasim Rashid was: an attorney who has run on the Democratic ticket for state senate in Virginia
- When he wrote it: International Woman’s Day in 2023
- I found a fact checking website (truth or fiction) which confirmed the data through their research – complete with article sources on the bottom (LaCapria)
- I found further data on the South Dakota ACLU website. (Chapman)
As someone who took a lot of Sociology in college (one of my two majors), I was fascinated by the statistical study which could happen because states legalized no-fault divorce at different times. As a result, scientists were able to run models to see if suicides rates impacted:
“For example: California changed its law in 1969, Massachusetts in 1975. “If we expect the suicide rate to fall, we expect it to fall six years earlier in California than in Massachusetts,” said Wolfers.” (Chapman)
This step-stone approach allowed Stevenson & Wolfers to examine suicide rates outside of larger on-going cultural changes such as allowing contraceptives, change in medicines to help with depression, women getting the right to have credit cards and start their own businesses, etc.
The impact? A six percent (6%) decrease nearly immediately for women, no change for men. A twenty percent (20%) decrease in rates after a couple of decades – for women. I suspect why the full impact wasn’t immediate was community pressure – families, churches, and other support systems returning women to the untenable situations, refusing to help them escape even after it became legally possible.
Going further down the rabbit hole, I discovered domestic violence decreased (for both men and women), and murder by partner decreased (for women only).
In other words, when men cannot get out of a poisonous relationship, they kill their partner, and when women cannot escape the situation, they kill themselves.
What is needed for a Fault Divorce? Prove wrongdoing by the spouse: cruelty, adultery, or desertion were the common causes. But the woman or man would have to prove it IN COURT, telling the judge and other members of THE COMMUNITY WHERE THEY LIVE how they were raped (if the state allows one to claim rape by a spouse, that is a fairly new thing too – South Dakota and Nebraska were the first two states to completely outlaw it in 1975 (wikipedia)), or beaten, or verbally abused. The spouse would need to show bruises, which likely have healed by the time the court date came around, if the woman or man lived that long.
Otherwise, if fault cannot be proven to the satisfaction of the court, the divorce ending the marriage had to be mutually consented to. In a world where women could not own property, would lose a job if they got pregnant, needed a male “owner” (for lack of a more accurate term) to sign off on even getting a bank account, many would refuse to get a divorce because they could not survive without a husband. (Hence why males chose option B, homicide.) On the other side of the equation, men did not have time to work in the house and on the job. Losing the partner (or forced domestic-laborer), would result in lack of food, clean clothing, and a host of other necessary services to be well-placed within the job force. Getting both people to agree to lose these economic benefits was rare, even at the steep cost of mental health and relationship well-being.
If America returns to the age of either mutual agreement or proving fault for a divorce to occur, especially with the ongoing stripping of women rights, one of two things will happen – (1) females will return to the previous situations resulting in “trapped” reactions – suicide and murder or (2) females will just stop getting married (which will be an interesting side-effect for the “Family” crowd pushing for this legal change to deal with).
A healthy relationship needs the participants to have the power to end it when it is no longer beneficial. I love reading romances, and the healthy relationships resulting in HEA are the best.
Bibliography
Chapman, Samantha. “Attacks on No-Fault Divorce are Dangerous – Especially for those Experiencing Domestic Violence.” ACLU South Dakota. 2023 October 20. (https://www.aclusd.org/en/news/attacks-no-fault-divorce-are-dangerous-especially-those-experiencing-domestic-violence – last viewed 3/31/2025)
LaCapria, Kim. “After No Fault Divorce Was Legalized in 1970, Female Suicide Rates Dropped 20 Percent.” Truth or Fiction. 2023 March 8. (https://www.truthorfiction.com/after-no-fault-divorce-was-legalized-in-1970-female-suicide-rates-dropped-20-percent/ – last viewed 3/31/2025)
Pickler, Les. “Divorce Laws and Family Violence.” The Digest. 2004 March 01. (https://www.nber.org/digest/mar04/divorce-laws-and-family-violence – last viewed 3/31/2025)
Stevenson, Betsey & Wolfers, Justin. “Bargaining in the Shadow of the Law: Divorce Laws and Family Distress. (Working Paper 10175).” National Bureau of Economic Research. December 2003. (https://www.nber.org/papers/w10175 – last viewed 3/31/2025)
Wikipedia. “Marital Rape in the United States.” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marital_rape_in_the_United_States – last viewed 3/31/2025)
Wolfers, Justin. “Did Unilateral Divorce Laws Raise Divorce Rates? A Reconciliation and New Results.” The American Economic Review. December 2006. (https://users.nber.org/~jwolfers/papers/Divorce%28AER%29.pdf – last viewed 3/31/2025)