Editing Rant: F is Fact Check

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Having friends, selectivity readers, and editors from a widely diverse background really helps writing accurate fiction. In my life, I have earned degrees in business, sociology, and computer science; my social circles looks like a Venn diagram with historic reenactors, D&D role players, and fiber art enthusiasts (especially embroidery, with a side of calligraphy and medieval illumination); I have worked as a teacher, tax preparer, and politician along with many other jobs in a lot of different industries, often more than one at a time. Plus unpaid side quests as a CPR instructor and adoring space exploration. (Oh, did I forget to mention writing, editing, book reviews, and small press publishing? I figured this website kind-of give that part away.)

This varied background means I often go “hold up, I need to do a little bit of research” when I am editing, then return with “FACT CHECK: here’s what I found.”

Having beta readers different from your personal background helps craft a more accurate picture of the world. Having specialists you can text with “Where can a person be shot with an arrow and still run for about three miles? How about if they are a werewolf and the arrowhead is silver?” or Facebook message with “So how do moon cycles ACTUALLY work? And what do you mean solar eclipses can only happen during the New Moon?”

My most recent Fact Check for an edit was CPR. Like I said, I was a CPR-First Aid instructor, something I did voluntarily for over a decade. I’ve been lucky enough never to have needed to administer CPR-Rescue Breathing in my life, but I have taught people who have used these skills in the real world.

And Fiction gets it wrong SO MUCH!!!!

Editing Rant activated.

Let’s start with the TV shows. How many times actors perform CPR on a BED!!! Look, you do compressions on a bed, the body is going to bounce up and down on the springs. Nothing is going to be compressed. Either put a body board under the body – and I say BODY because you only do CPR when there is no heartbeat. No heartbeat, no living person, … that is a dead body. – or you move the body to the floor or other flat hard surface.

Also on TV, the medical staff always “break” their elbows. The elbows are bent.

If you are doing compressions, the arms are stiff, and you have your shoulders and body above your hands and you push down with your whole body weight onto the body. You are falling on their chest basically with stiff arms. The effort on your part, after gravity does its thing with your weight compressing the ribcage, is lifting back up. Anyone who does pushups know the control fall is as exhausting as the push-up. Compressions are going to tire you out.

Now I will give the TV shows and Movies the elbow bend because you don’t want to perform CPR on a living person; no actor wants to go through that. It falls in the same category as the fact Movies and TV shows they never show the full vows during a marriage ceremony. Some things just aren’t done: perform CPR on a guest-actor or marry your co-actor on film.

Now onto books I have read or edited.

In one book, a group of three college students were electrocuted. Another person enters the room and is able to perform CPR and rescue breathing on all three people by themselves and revive all three people.

Uh, no.

Do you know how much effort it takes to do compressions, while also doing rescue breathing? Do you know how long you need to do both before it is effective? Not the typical TV, 15 seconds with three-to-five compressions and two breaths! I give TV a pass because of time limitations of the medium, but a book has all the time in the world. Three bodies needing CPR isn’t a quick fix.

If you are going to do CPR, figure you will be at it for minutes. The rule is once you start, you continued until you are relieved or you cannot physically do it anymore. Call 911 BEFORE you start. Because those “minutes” you are going to be at it is the ambulance response time for your area.

Back to the Editing Rant: Then there is the constant … and I do mean constant … “I feel a faint heartbeat, so I need to perform CPR.”

NOPE … no-no-no NO!!!

Again CPR is to restart the heart. You got a heartbeat, you are good. CPR is only done on dead people who were recently alive, to remind the body what it felt like to have a heartbeat and to be breathing.

Faint heartbeat – no CPR.

No heartbeat – then it is CPR time.

I ain’t got time to teach the world this fact one writer at a time.

So let me recommend something here. Take a CPR and First Aid course. American Red Cross, American Heart Association, OSHA training, whatever your country offers. Just take it. While the life you save likely won’t be your own, it may be a niece or nephew who fell in the pool, it may be a grandmother you are visiting, it may be a co-worker massaging the left side of their chest during a stressful meeting.

Or it could be you are able to write about CPR, rescue breathing, and basic first aid bandaging more accurately in your books.

Go! Get training.

I’m tired of editing this. It’s basic life knowledge. Or should be. Make it so.

Rant over.

E is for Editing Rant

Today, I have an edit in, this time line editing / copy editing. It’s my third day going through it, and I have two more days with it. A-to-Z is hard when you are focused on other people’s words.

Line editing is the editing pass concentration on the paragraph and sentence level, and falls between developmental editing (the big picture story stuff – and my favorite type of edit to do for other people) and proofreading (the nitty gritty punctuation and verb tense stuff from English class). English class covered big picture stuff – picking up themes and logic and characters; and it also covered the nitty gritty with language structure and sentence diagrams. Line editing is a mystical land in-between no one really knows about.

I’ve covered topics like the power of paragraph breaks, fact checking (especially distances), varying sentences structure to keep things lively, integrating dialogue and narrative, etc. Also word choices. Making them powerful, make them match the genre.

Spell them right.

Okay that last one, spelling, is proofreading, but I try to catch as much as I can when I am line editing. Choosing the right word is harder than you think because of homonyms.

I need to rant on homonyms.

I’ve been editing for over a month now. I’m working on book seven and so.many.homonyms. The real evil thing about homonyms are they are actual words; spellcheck WON’T find them. Having a computer or friend read your story aloud WON’T find them because they sound the same as the word you should have used. The only way to catch these monsters is with trained human eyes and still some of these buggers are going to slip through. It’s why I start marking them during the line-editing even though it is a proofreading thing. Maybe between the two passes we can catch these nightmares in our net.

The standards: too/to/two and they’re/their/there and it’s/its.

The all-time winner (found in half of the books I edit)!
I reigned in my anger. (I reined in my anger.)
Reign – is to rule / Rein – Guild-line type things on horse which control movement

 Old standbys:
I waited with baited breath for the authors to learn. (I waited with bated breath for the authors to learn.)
Baited – using small pieces of food to catch bigger things / Bated – short of abated, meaning stopped or reduced

I bare the burden of too many words. (I bear the burden of too many words.)
Bare – uncovered / bear – to carry

I gave the writer a peace of my mind. (I gave the writer a piece of my mind.)
Peace – a quiet time or situation / Piece – a part

The son rose and set before the edit was done today. (The sun rose and set before the edit was done today.)
Son – male offspring / Sun – the big burning day-moon

What a fowl situation. (What a foul situation.)
Fowl – animal in the bird family / foul – offensive to the senses

 New and interesting ones:
Over the coarse of time, I learned my lesson. (Over the course of time, I learned my lesson.)
Coarse – rough surface / Course – a path

Pity the retch editing other people’s books. (Pity the wretch editing other people’s books.)
Retch – to gag / Wretch – be pathetic

Words closely related to homonym issues to watch out for:
Lighting / lightning / lightening (glows / storm / color changes)

Than / then (comparison of quality / time order)

 

I could go on all day, but let me end with one that blue (blew) my mind a few years ago. The author used each of these words twice in the manuscript. Once for each with the word spelled right, and once each with the homonym. Yes I fond them that time … but, no, I don’t always find – I can’t find – everything. Homonyms are hard to find, am I write (right)?

Magical Words: Revisions Revisited

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Time to break out the red pen again. An edit is in the door and needs some work.

One of the things I will say, many times is – “this is just a suggestion.” or “It needs fixing, here is an example so you can see how I think it is wrong, but you are the author.”

David B. Coe paraphrased his editor in the Magical Words post from November 29, 2010, “Revisiting Revisions” with:

“You don’t have to use my wording,” he said with maddening equanimity, when I complained about some change he had made to a previous manuscript. “You’re the writer; I’m sure you can come up with something better.  I changed it because the original wording didn’t work.  It wasn’t clear, or it didn’t work with the rest of the scene.  I was just trying to draw your attention to it.”

And that is the horrific thing editors do. They point out what is wrong. Maddening cruel and loving essential, every red mark.

And it isn’t always “wrong – wrong”. It could be “not as good as you are capable of”. Sometimes I think that is the worse, because wrong is an easy fix – “make better” oh boy, that is going to take some effort.

This particular Magical Words is mostly a reminder for ME on how to be the best editor possible. Sometimes ruts happen. Tired happens. And people need to be reminded of best practices. This post by Dr. Coe is full of them.

Again, the URL is: https://www.magicalwords.net/david-b-coe/revisions-revisited/

Magical Words: Cutting Out the Filler

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When writers go back and review their old works, it can be a humbling experience. David B. Coe worked on a re-release of his first series where he found over 20,000 words just taking up print space in his books. Filler that didn’t add anything to the story. He broke them up into the following groups:

  1. Passive and distancing constructions
  2. Adverbs
  3. Weakening words
  4. Beginning and starts.

From reading the May 31, 2016 Magical Word post, “Cutting Out the Filler”, you will discover what things needed to go based on these groups. Remember to bring the same scalpel to your writing.

  1. Passive – Remove copulas (I have mentioned this in other posts).
  2. Distancing constructions

Distancing constructions come in several forms. Any time we use “could” we are possbily adding extra words. And often using “saw” or “felt” or “heard” injects unnecessary words into the perceptions of your point of view character. For example:  “He could hear a horseman approaching” is wordier than “He heard a horseman approaching,” which is wordier than “A horseman approached.” And since we’re in the POV of our narrator, we KNOW that she has heard this.

I’m oversimplifying a bit, of course. Yes, it’s possible that your POV character divined this magically, or saw rising dust — perhaps we need some sensory input. “Hoofbeats shook the ground. A horseman approached.” Now we’re using more words. But we’re saying more as well. We’re showing rather than telling. My larger point stands: eliminate distancing constructions from your writing. Even if this doesn’t save you words in the long run (though trust me, it will) doing so will improve your writing.

3. Adverbs – No need to remove them all; they add beauty and clarity. But are they necessary. Mr. Coe mentions fixing items like “He glanced briefly.” noting that a glance is always brief.

4. Weakening – Drop the waffling words. I (Erin) constantly have to slash out “a lot” or “a bit”, “slightly” and “nearly”. “Tend” keeps getting killed and resurrecting. Sometimes a statement needs to be soften, but usually our storytelling needs stronger stuff.

5. Beginnings and starts – I’ve talked about this a lot before. I hate these for the action genres like thrillers and urban fantasies. “He began to think on things.” “She started to run.” … “He thought on things.” “She ran.” Unless the act of beginning is important, these need killing too.

The URL is: http://www.magicalwords.net/david-b-coe/quick-tip-tuesday-cutting-out-the-filler/ (It may no longer be available. After nearly a decade, Magical Words website has been taken down.