Tag: Show Don’t Tell

Editing Rant: Romantic Diabetes

Erin Penn


ID 1399397 © Photoeuphoria | Dreamstime.com

“Isn’t s/he the sweetest thing?”

First off, show, don’t tell us the character is sweet. Two, vary the admiration beyond being candy kisses and Hershey hugs. We don’t need Romantic Diabetes.

While the book contained slow-paced well-developed romance between a-beauty-and-a-beast where both the main romantic characters mature during the story, my toleration of the romance dwindled as I was thrown out of the story several times from the Mary Sue / Gary Stu moments. (See my Mary Sue post if you don’t understand the term.)

I didn’t mind the female character, a princess, being an ALL POWERFUL wizard unsure of her abilities because of her youth, or having battle-worthy skills, or perfect beauty. It is a romance after all. Romantic leads tend toward perfection in all things. Some amount of Mary Sue/Gary Stu is expected. (Not too much – “tend toward perfection”, but not BE perfection. Come on, now, tone this back.)

It is the stuff where she (and he) does something that I expect of royalty – and the romantic partner stops the story – just in case I missed reading what happened in the last sentence and go “they are the sweetest thing.” M.u.l.t.i.p.l.e times.

Most of the powerful things done weren’t “sweet” but noble. Very different.

Each time full-stop of the story the author was calling out to the reader “See, this is why you MUST love my characters – because they are cute/spunky/sweet”. Sorry author, you don’t get to tell me I have to love characters. You got to work for it.

And showing them doing something then telling immediately following the action is NOT TRUSTING your reader. Trust your reader.

Other Cool Blogs: Magical Words June 14, 2013

Erin Penn

Acquired from tvtropes.org

Missing the Magic

It’s posts like “I’LL SHOW YOU NOT TELLING” by James R. Tuck which I miss most about Magical Words. Raw, unfiltered, spot-on writing advice – not sanded down and made pretty.

“Show, don’t tell.” has been stated so often the phrase no longer has meaning.

Until Mr. Tuck picks up the advice, shakes it in his teeth, tears off a bite, and spits out the rest. Looking at the mutilated NSFW mess the pretty phrase now is in, suddenly the words are more real than ever before:

“I know how we writers are. We feel like the reader needs to know all the back story to really understand what we are trying to write….the ins and outs of the plot, the history and texture of the worlds and characters we have created so lovingly.

It’s bullshit. … Don’t you dare TELL me that crap.”

Want to see Mr. Tuck’s “I’ll show you not telling”, go here: http://www.magicalwords.net/james-tuck-2/ill-show-you-not-telling-something-i-read-somewheres/

Other Cool Blogs: Jody Hedlund October 2015

Erin Penn

Baby Carves Turkey Stock Art

Image courtesy of WPClipArt.com

Stuffing a Story

“Show, don’t tell.” How many times have you heard that instruction? I can’t tell you how many times I have written it on a manuscript while editing.

Then I read my writing and realize I have completely stripped all description from a story. How much stuffing do I need to put into the story so the flavor comes through without making the beast pop?

Jody Hedlund shared “How to Balance Showing versus Telling” on her blog towards the end of 2015. I have previous pointed you toward this author with her 3 Stages of Editing way back in January. 

No, the posting does not give the exact balance – genre drives part of the balance; for example, thriller will have less telling than science fiction. The article does point out not all telling is bad and a balance is needed, a fairly unique voice among the publishing industry demands to make writing look and sound more like the visual media of television and movies.

Need the link again? Well, let me stop telling you about the post and show you instead: http://jodyhedlund.blogspot.com/2015/10/how-to-balance-showing-versus-telling.html