Tag: Write-Description

Magical Words: The Tension of English

Erin Penn

In a Magical Words, Dr. Emily Leverett discussed Adjectivals (“Adjectival Part 1: pre-noun modifiers”, magicalwords.net, 7/28/2015 – http://www.magicalwords.net/really-i-mean-it/adjectivals-part-1-pre-noun-modifiers/)- the adjectives, nouns, and participles which make a noun pop. Think of a normal, unmodified noun as a white box and the adjectivals expanding the setting with actual description. The white box becomes a vibrant, rainbow carpeted box.

During the article, she mentions how English creates tension. Many languages put the noun or verb right out there at the start, then add all the modifiers after, filling in the world. Like a white box dialog getting all the setting description later in the editing process. But in English, words may be going for a while before you even know what is being described, and then you might need to wait a little more before the noun gets verb-ed into action.

Is that constant “wait for it” adding to the tension found in English cultures?

(Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash)

Other Cool Blogs: Magical Words – Five Senses (F is for Five)

Erin Penn

Photo by Solstice Hannan on Unsplash

F is for Five Senses – Sight/Color, Hearing/Sound, Smell/Scent, Taste/Flavor, Touch/Texture & Temperature

I often talk “white box” writing. Drafting out a story, authors write quickly, getting dialog and thoughts on paper, moving from scene to scene until done. Then the author needs to go back and flesh out everything on the second pass – getting rid of the white box the characters are acting in.

Bringing the bigger world to life through the environment surrounding the story is one of my weaknesses. When I read novels and see all the layers people put in, I realize I must learn to do this better, integrate the action and dialog with the setting and world.

Humans have five senses to investigate the world (with some valid arguments of smell and taste being the same sense AND touch should be broken out to temperature and texture/pressure as these are reported to brain differently – but let’s stick to the five senses of school). Humans really depend on sight, so this is the go-to when expanding writing. What color things are, how bright the light is, how far can you see, what people are wearing, what is in the room. All the things the characters can see.

Hearing, the second most important sense to humans, comes second. Loud noise, soft whispers, scraps, ticks, hums, bangs. If the characters are eating, the readers might get a taste of the food – though smell is used more often.

Touch is usually only mentioned in romances. Maybe in a fight scene when being punched.

Faith Hunter did a three-blog series on using the five senses in writing during 2011. She skipped sight because everyone has a fairly good understanding on how to approach the technicolor world.

4/13/2011 – Part 1: Hearing and Sound –

4/19/2011 – Part 2: Scent and Smell –

6/1/2011 – Part 3 & 4: Taste and Touch –https://www.magicalwords.net/faith-hunter/how-to-write-description-part-3-and-4/

 

WRITING EXERCISE: Carry a small notebook for three days. When something hits one of your senses, record it. The voice recorder app on your phone can also work. Transcript the results to a folder used to remind you of things to keep in mind when doing the second draft. Maybe even use some of the descriptions you created in your current Work-in-Progress (WIP).

Geeking Science: Touch

Erin Penn

Touch.

Essential to writing fiction. The light touch of a lover. The pain of a punch. The bitter cold of the wind. The tickle of fur. The pressure of holding a magic orb.

Did you know that while we put “touch” as one big bucket, it actually is a huge network of different sensors with different jobs? Location, movement, temperature, pressure, texture. Some of the sensors are set up to register changes and others report back constantly. For example, have you ever forgotten you were holding something? That would be the sensors set up to register changes recorded the picking up of the item, but after a while, with no further change, stops reminding the brain you are holding something.

To find out more about touch, here are three short videos.

 2 Minute Neuroscience: Touch Receptors (10/21/2019 from Neuroscientifically Challenged)


 


 

Dr Mike’s Video – I did not know that pain and touch take two different routes up the spinal cord.

Other Cool Blogs: Magical Words – Lasagna Backstory

Erin Penn

Photo 11155296 / Lasagna © Karin Hildebrand Lau | Dreamstime.com

Writing Backstory
Faith Hunter is a regular attender at ConCarolinas and one of the founders of magical words. On 7/23/2008, she shared this extremely good metaphor for how to write backstory into a manuscript (hint – not through an info dump!):

I love this explanation as much as I love my mother’s lasagna. Since I can eat mom’s lasagna as leftovers for over two weeks, I think you extrapolate how much I love this example.

Every story has worldbuilding – even contemporary romances. The characters came from somewhere; the locations existed before the characters arrived. We are only see the story through a narrow window of the narrative, not knowing who else is on the street. Some of this past may need to be shared with the readers – but (1) it’s a lot less that most authors think is needed and (2) it is boring as school history when dumped on a reader all at once.

The author is challenged to release this greater world information through a variety of means – flashbacks, dialog, or even part of the action. Getting it layered in with the other good stuff makes everything better.

Related articles
7/14/2020 – Editing Rant: As You Know Bob
11/26/2019 – Writing Exercise: Flashback
3/3/2016 – Infodump

Other Cool Blogs: Magical Words 3/10/2010

Erin Penn

95109212 © publicdomainphotographs | Dreamstime.com

Today I woke up before my alarm, waited for the alarm to go off, swiped so it went to snooze, daydreamed, swiped again, debated getting up, swiped again, finally got up to go to the bathroom. Debated crawling into bed again when the alarm went off, annoying me enough to get dress. I had laid out the clothes the night before.

***

I arrived at work on time.

So … too much description? Did I need to list all the swipes?

Or was there too little description? After all, eating breakfast, starting the car, backing out of the driveway, and the commute are all missing. They won’t have anything to do with the story or character development, but they do get me from bed to work. How else would I show that?

The magic of three stars for a scene skip.

The plot written by an author highlights the manuscript. Like extracting a story out from child. What did we do first? “We went to the zoo.” Then what? “We got cotton candy.” Anything else. “Monkeys!!!!” All that other stuff, grandma (or the reader) doesn’t need to know.

But how to indicate the scene jumps?

Magic three stars.

A great, great article on the topic is “Skipping Time” by Carrie Ryan (Magical Words 3/10/2011):